Here is what I am going to do. In my weakest moments, I am going to keep sending him love because it feels the most healing. And I am going to continue to extend grace to him because without that extension of grace, I would not have survived. Because truly, the grace I extend to him (or to anyone else) is not between me and him, but rather it is between me and the divine. I am going to continue to dig through the muck. To find the light that I buried and unearth it. I am going to continue to find what once was the essence of Dawn and to dust it off and add it to the wonderful things I am today. I am going to find the bravery that allows me to look in the mirror at myself and say, yes. You are a good mother. Yes, you love your children. Yes, you do the best for them always. Yes, you make mistakes. But that does not make you any less of a good mother. That makes you human. And in the mistakes, your children figure out what they don’t want and they reach for bigger and better and brighter things. That is a gift that you give them. I am going to look for the place in myself that says a single parent and her children does not make a family and I am going to silence her. I am going to silence her with all of the examples of love that I can find. I am going to silence her with the fun and carefree and happiness that my kids and I have created together. I am going to tell her that I am NOT less of a parent because I am on my own, but rather that I created a life in which I could find more joy than sadness. I created a life in which I could teach them what I thought was really important without having to write a battle plan to get there. I created a life in which they can connect with their grandparents, they can learn to counter conflict in a healthy way, they can experience two separate households that are filled with love for them. They know what home is. And they know, before they ever have to make it on their own, that home is not about a place. It is not about a person. Home is about a feeling and they can find it wherever they find love. I am going to continue to grow and to heal. And while I cannot promise, not yet, that I will not find myself consumed with frustration, or that I will not glance at a universal watch and swear at how long I have been standing in one place, I will make an effort to celebrate more. To notice when I have unfolded the map because the next destination is just beyond the crease. I will listen to what I am really saying. I will pay attention because when it gets really, really hard, it’s probably when I am getting close to something great. And when something is finished, I will end it. Not a moment before. And when I end it, I will do so with light and love. I will do so with gratitude for what it taught me. And I will hold each of the moments that happened thus far in the same way. I will heal the moments that ended with light and love. I will heal myself.